I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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