so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
