just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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