i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
