I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
