hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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