apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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