My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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