yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
