we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
