Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize