Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
