The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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