i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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