he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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