I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
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The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
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A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize