Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I think weed is turning my hair brown
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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