I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
