The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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