No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
