Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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