His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You smell like a Billy Joel song
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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