Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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