If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
