She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.