does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.