he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...