She went from zero to smokin in five shots
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.