Texts From Last Night

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  (478): View more from Georgia

  I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?

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  (478): I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/kb80
  Replies (23) Good night (3552) Bad night (951)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..

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  (561): My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis.. http://tfl.nu/qf8b
  Replies (43) Good night (812) Bad night (6391)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.

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  (512): I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today. http://tfl.nu/pv8p
  Replies (16) Good night (869) Bad night (5374)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me

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  (813): my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me http://tfl.nu/uytx
  Replies (63) Good night (9708) Bad night (1393)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"

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  (262): This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year" http://tfl.nu/hf6v
  Replies (9) Good night (1347) Bad night (6499)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  critical mistake not lubing the nipples

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  (816): critical mistake not lubing the nipples http://tfl.nu/tm7j
  Replies (13) Good night (829) Bad night (2783)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  I will probably be peed on at some point today.

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  (469): I will probably be peed on at some point today. http://tfl.nu/flw0
  Replies (6) Good night (990) Bad night (2509)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?

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  (+61): He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday? http://tfl.nu/aaeg
  Replies (5) Good night (2065) Bad night (1310)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.

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  (801): It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me. http://tfl.nu/14do
  Replies (5) Good night (1793) Bad night (950)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!

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  (720): Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you! http://tfl.nu/nw6m
  Replies (11) Good night (1339) Bad night (653)
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  (310): View more from California

  I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...

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  (310): I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall... http://tfl.nu/nu3z
  Replies (8) Good night (1522) Bad night (651)
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  (619): View more from California

  I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.

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  (619): I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth. http://tfl.nu/xt4j
  Replies (9) Good night (1527) Bad night (419)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.

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  (978): We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment. http://tfl.nu/8gpy
  Replies (8) Good night (2295) Bad night (534)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"

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  (217): what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?" http://tfl.nu/sbqo
  Replies (9) Good night (787) Bad night (1188)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy

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  (303): If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy http://tfl.nu/zq1x
  Replies (7) Good night (307) Bad night (257)

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