Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
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Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
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Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.