Texts From Last Night

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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting

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  (252): just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting http://tfl.nu/rg7x
  Replies (3) Good night (605) Bad night (747)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect

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  (919): I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect http://tfl.nu/qvmo
  Replies (8) Good night (1037) Bad night (691)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried

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  (570): I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried http://tfl.nu/vdpu
  Replies (20) Good night (608) Bad night (3737)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay

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  (336): 16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay http://tfl.nu/u1h0
  Replies (24) Good night (5665) Bad night (749)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it

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  (954): i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it http://tfl.nu/cllt
  Replies (28) Good night (655) Bad night (5529)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing

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  (513): corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing http://tfl.nu/6ydb
  Replies (47) Good night (733) Bad night (10276)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.

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  (205): I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean. http://tfl.nu/fik0
  Replies (44) Good night (10076) Bad night (1118)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.

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  (440): The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right. http://tfl.nu/kh4m
  Replies (5) Good night (1796) Bad night (632)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with

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  (812): There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with http://tfl.nu/wqvq
  Replies (11) Good night (649) Bad night (2552)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?

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  (914): Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun? http://tfl.nu/1gt4
  Replies (10) Good night (2239) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood

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  (870): There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood http://tfl.nu/fo50
  Replies (17) Good night (443) Bad night (2615)
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  (718): View more from New York

  It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.

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  (718): It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail. http://tfl.nu/rl3q
  Replies (4) Good night (782) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!

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  (727): I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that! http://tfl.nu/zrpi
  Replies (2) Good night (827) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (682): View more from Texas

  You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.

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  (682): You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed. http://tfl.nu/c6kp
  Replies (2) Good night (708) Bad night (267)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.

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  (423): Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed. http://tfl.nu/j4hb
  Replies (1) Good night (254) Bad night (342)

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