I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
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