we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
