he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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