Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
