This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
