if i died would you start the facebook group?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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