I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize