What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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