Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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