You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
