I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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