it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
