awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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