man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
