Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
