A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
