I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
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Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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