if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
