Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize