Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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