There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize