If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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