Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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