hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
