I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
