Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
