Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
