Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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