i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I would fuck him just for his dog
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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