girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize