Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize