from now on my penis is your penis
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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