Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
