she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize